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Dealing with an Alcoholic

The first thing that those close to an alcoholic must do is realize that you have no control over the alcoholic behavior.  If you want to help, you must first free yourself from the guilt, anxiety and emotional responsibility you've assumed for the alcoholic.

You will not feel strong enough to make an effective intervention until you take back the control you've given the alcoholic over your feelings and your life.  Her are some ways to do that:

DON'T ignore the disease

DO

 learn the facts about it: knowledge is power
DON'T blame the alcoholic DO understand your own emotions
DON'T try to control the alcoholic's drinking DO concentrate on the need for treatment & offer options
DON'T make excuses for the alcoholic DO let him suffer the consequences of his actions
DON'T worry about reasons for the drinking DO what you can to make yourself happier
DON'T make threats DO say what you mean & do it
DON'T extract or accept promises DO focus on actions-what the alcoholic does or doesn't do
DON'T seek advice from the uninformed DO seek out professional sources of information such as AA
DON'T blame yourself-you're not the cause of the drinking DO get help for yourself
DON'T hide the fact that you're seeking help DO tell the alcoholic what you're doing
DON'T nag, preach, or lecture DO let the alcoholic know you still love him but don't approve of his actions

 
     
 

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