From the Heart (part 2 of a 4 part series on Love and Romance)
Hopeless Romantics

Some people are hopelessly romantic. Four percent of a 12,000-person study conducted by Psychology Today said that they felt powerless to stop themselves from falling in love.

Although by their own reports they are relatively unhappy in love, they continue to have faith in sexual chemistry. The study also revealed that Hopeless Romantics (HRs) have more extramarital affairs and believe their probability of divorce is high. They report having fallen in love at least four times and have experienced unrequited love many times; all have experienced love at first sight. They also believe that love is ephemeral -- hard to define or sustain.

Compared to other respondents, HRs fall in love much earlier - at age 14 1/2 on average, compared to 19 for the least love-prone. Not surprisingly, they say sex and chemistry are the most vital elements in enduring romance; less love-prone people say trust is most important. HRs feel desperate about love because they don’t have a clear sense of identity. They tend to define who they are in terms of who they relate to. Without a relationship, they have little individual identity.

What makes one person more prone to romantic infatuation than another? Many hopeless romantics had disrupted or traumatic childhoods, filled with crisis, rejection or indifference. Their life stories imply that without sufficient affection and warmth growing up, some of us spend a lifetime trying to capture the love we missed. When we’ve experienced so little love as children, as adults we may find it difficult to differentiate between the momentary thrill of infatuation and the more sustaining contentment of love.