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Lock
Out Violence in Your Child
GET INVOLVED
The STEPS are
simple. But YOU are the essential part if the key is going to
work.
STEP 1.
Listen to kids.
STEP 2. Involve kids in group activities sports, scouts, children
focused clubs. The activity itself is not important --- group
involvement IS important
STEP
3. Involve YOURSELF in your kids activities and model group
participation by joining a group for you.
STEP
4. SOCIAL SKILLS ARE A MUST. - Children must use social skills
to participate in groups. Children's treatment groups are an
excellent and proven way to help kids with social skills
development. (You may need to give them a push at the group
beginning.)
STEP
5. Start Early. The longer you wait --- the greater the chance
for bigger and  more serious problems.
KEYS TO DISASTER
-
Preaching
- Talking AT
kids
- Giving
Advice (instead of listening)
- "FIXING"
(kids aren’t broken)
- Using the
Authority role when you just need to listen
- Responding
with ANGER when you’re caught off guard
MASTER
KEY
Just listen
and Show your child that you are hearing what is said.
Children/Adolescents want to be VALIDATED as much as adults want
validation.
HOW DO I
LISTEN?
1.
Establish eye contact with your child.
2. Focus
ALL your attention on your child.
TV’s, computers, stereos, need to be turned off or
avoided.
Washing
dishes or working on the car are NO NO’s.
They
prevent undivided attention and eye contact.
3. Respond
with nods or simple words (Really? Oh? That’s too bad, etc.)
or a related comment --- ifs the same thing you do when you
really listen to another adult.
4.
REMEMBER ! ! !
No preaching, giving advice, or scolding. If a response is
needed, give it at a different time. (Tape your mouth if
necessary).
At first, the
conversation may seem fake or uncomfortable. Your child may make a
remark to mimic, tease or mock you DON’T TAKE THE BAIT!
In a week or
two, the interaction will be natural and you might really enjoy
it.
WHERE DO I GET THE TIME?
All it takes
is:
YOU HAVE THE KEYS TO THE
LOCK
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